Mattel’s Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Colorado Market:

Greeley Barbie This Spanish-speaking only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a Meat Packers uniform and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green Cards are not available for Barbie or Ken.

Trinidad Barbie/Ken This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts.

Aspen Barbie This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print ski outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the lodge. Percocet prescription available.

Boulder Barbie This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or need a Ken doll, but you if purchase two Boulder Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

Ranch Barbie This princess Barbie is only sold at Park Meadows Mall and Nordstrom. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, along-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. A Workaholic Ken is sold only in conjunction with augmented version.

Englewood/Littleton/Green Mountain Barbie This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

Denver/Colfax Barbie This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash (preferably, small, untraceable bills) ....unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

Cherry Creek Barbie This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Commerce City Barbie This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six pack of Coors light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she's drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Thornton/Buyers Barbie This tobacco chewing, brassy haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gutted Ken out of Commerce City/Brighton Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.

5 Points Barbie This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Aurora Barbie This Pale Model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt, and ttweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Arvada Barbie She's perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is cause he's always hunting.


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Last Updated: November 18, 2010 10:53
Created on: December 06, 2005 22:07
Creator: Jonathan Woodward